Prepare for a long rambly post, cause it’s coming your way!
Today I wanted to talk about my health and fitness, a little bit about my history, where I’m at now and how I want to continue to grow.
As you’ve noticed “health” is a part of my blog’s title and domain, but it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything remotely health related and there are two reasons for that. Number one is that I was a lot more interested in health and fitness when I first created my domain (way before I even started properly blogging) and the other and bigger reason, because while I’m not as interested in fitness it’s still an interest of mine, is that I’ve been massively slacking in the fitness department in the last few months. Basically ever since last summer
But let’s start at the beginning. I was always a skinny kid, sometimes even considered “too skinny”. I lived an active life as kid, always involved in some sort of sports and activities and my metabolism was fast. Aside from being a rather picky eater I never really thought about what I was eating, as it should be when you’re a kid, my parent’s took care of that for me. There was always healthy food at home, yoghurt and cereal, toast and fruit were the norm for breakfast and after school snack. Pizza night was Fridays and we could have a bag of candy on Saturdays. It was my teenage years when my unhealthy relationship with food developed. I started sneaking cookies and candy into the house, and in fact, most of my own money I spent on sweets, in stead of saving it or buying something that would last me more than an afternoon. I was (and still am to a point) a very emotional eater. A true introvert I took to food as my “true friends”. However I still lived an active lifestyle and my metabolism was still very high so I didn’t gain any weight or really feel the effects of my dietary changes.
Until I went away for secondary school. I decided to move to another town and live in a dorm. I quit all my sports and activities and all of a sudden there was this previously unknown freedom. No one was telling me what to eat or when. No one questioned 11pm snack runs on a Monday. In fact, my roommate often came with me. I gained the famous “freshman fifteen” years before I even started college. To be fair I have no idea how much weight I gained in those two years. I didn’t have access to a scale, and frankly, I didn’t really give a shit. And I was never “fat”. Far from it. I was however no where close to healthy at all. However I didn’t really start doing anything about it until 3 years or so after I moved away from home. And ever since then I’ve been yo-yoing. I don’t want to say that I’ve been a “yo-yo dieter”, since I never went on any sort of “diet”, more of a “yo-yo lifestyle changer”.I have periods of eating relatively healthy and exercising 3-6 times a week, and then I have periods (often many months at a time) when I just can’t be bothered, I eat what I want and don’t move my ass further than from the couch to the fridge.
I’m still trying to change my relationship to food, because it’s been very unhealthy. I literally try to eat my feelings. Happy? Let’s get food. Sad? Food will make me feel better. Hard day? I deserve food. Good day? Celebrate with food.
I know this is a very common problem however, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with but I’m trying. I’m definitely ready to get going on a health kick again, and hopefully this one will last longer than the last, I’m still trying to find the balance in my lifestyle.
Anyway, this was a long ramble. Thanks for reading if you made it all this way. Just remember: life’s a journey, and that’s ok.
And to avoid any misunderstandings: I don’t think I’m fat. I know I’m not. My lifestyle journey isn’t about visibly changing my body (though that is often a side effect), it’s simply about feeling the best I can.
Until next time,